Committed To Reaching My Goals

I’m so tired of this. I HATE being this way – feeling fat, looking fat, working so hard for nothing; thinking about it all the time. the other day at the gym, I got 2 sympathy looks. This isn’t the first time that I’ve got this look, even at the gym, but it for some reason it really hurt this time. You know the look – the one that says “Oh poor thing – look at her working out.” It’s embarrassing being the fattest person at the gym. I want to work harder when I’m there and try things but I’m embarrassed of how I’ll look when I do. If I try running on the treadmill, will I look stupid? What if I’m lifting weights and they get too heavy and drop them or something? What if I fall walking across the gym – again? What if I get stuck under a machine while trying to adjust the height on it? Will someone be there to rescue me this time? My heart hurts thinking about being like this for the rest of my life. I don’t want to spend my life fat and worrying about it, thinking about it, dreaming about one day not being fat anymore.

I don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life – fat and unable to do things I want do. Will I ever be at goal? I can’t even imagine what I’ll look like at goal, what it’ll feel like. How do I even know what’s a good goal weight to shoot for?

My prayer today is that I make the right choices and do the right things to achieve this.

28 Days

Let’s just say that I’m glad February was only 28 days long. It started with lots of sweat and even some tears; it ended much better. I worked out harder and tweaked some things with my eating. It was difficult because I was working hard at getting past the level of weight I seemed to be stuck at. The good news is that I lost 4 pounds and some more inches. Thank God for that!!! I’m now working on losing more weight and getting as far away from this plateau as possible.

One Day At A Time

The past week has been good but it sure wasn’t easy. Last Thursday’s training (January 29th) started off with weighing in and measurements. The good news is that I lost – the bad news is that I’m frustrated and wanting to do more than what I am doing. I attribute it to poor choices on my part. The rest of that training was spent talking it all out and even crying a little. For not working out at all, it sure was a tough training!

So this week has been spent doing things different. There have been times this week where it’s been difficult dealing with my eating habits. It’s taken a lot of planning ahead and cooking things ahead of time. And I’ve also been working out more. I’ve realized that I hate the Stairmaster more than I originally thought – but I’ve also realized that the elliptical isn’t so bad when compared to the Stairmaster.

It’s all paying off to. I had training last night and after the warm-up, Jeremy had me hop on the scale just to see where I was at – and I’ve lost 2 pounds this week! When I stepped off that scale, the feeling of excitement I felt was worth every bit of hard work and the tears that shed this week. My next official weigh-in and measurements won’t be until the end of the month and I can’t wait to see where I’ll be then. Until then, I’m taking it day be day and giving my all to make it a great one!

I Want To Do This!!!

It’s that time again – time to step on the scale and get the measuring tape out. I don’t know how good it’s going to be. I see some differences in myself when I look in the mirror but can’t totally pinpoint what it is that I’m seeing. Will it show on the scale? How about with the measurements? My trainings have been killing me. Have I worked out hard enough on my own?

The biggest improvements I need to make are in my eating habits. Things like making the right choices when I eat and portion control are sometimes really hard. I was watching Biggest Loser this week and Bob said something that I really liked – “You have to workout as hard in the kitchen as you do in the gym.” That means that as hard and as much as I workout in the gym, I also need to work that hard in the kitchen at making the right food choices, eating the right portions, and so much more.

More than anything else right now, I want to make these changes. I’m tired of being fat. I’m tired of not being able to find cute clothes. Tired of looking fat – of feeling fat. I want to be healthy. To be fit. To be skinny.

What will it take for me to achieve my goals? Sometimes I feel so weak and want to give in to some of the old habits. I can’t do that though – not with what I’ve learned and now know. I want to continue making changes for the good. I don’t want to keep talking about this – I want to do it!

Today…

…I’m thankful for the many things that I take for granted. Things like the great family and friends who surround me, the air I breathe, and a God who loves me. My heart is heavy as I remember a friend who has fought a good fight. I don’t even know what to say…

Lord, I pray this holiday season for…

…Help in being a smart eater during the holidays
...Wisdom on making the right choices when it comes to eating and the self-control and determination to stick with those choices
…Plenty of time to workout

This gift of better health that I’m giving myself right now means so much. Thank you God for giving me the tools that I need to do this.

Reasons I Want To Lose Weight

I want to be fit.
I want to be healthy.
I’m tired of looking and feeling fat.
I want to be more confident.
I want to have more energy.
Lower the risk of weight related health problems.
Prove to myself that I can do this.
I want to feel better about myself.
I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see.