Committed To Reaching My Goals

I’m so tired of this. I HATE being this way – feeling fat, looking fat, working so hard for nothing; thinking about it all the time. the other day at the gym, I got 2 sympathy looks. This isn’t the first time that I’ve got this look, even at the gym, but it for some reason it really hurt this time. You know the look – the one that says “Oh poor thing – look at her working out.” It’s embarrassing being the fattest person at the gym. I want to work harder when I’m there and try things but I’m embarrassed of how I’ll look when I do. If I try running on the treadmill, will I look stupid? What if I’m lifting weights and they get too heavy and drop them or something? What if I fall walking across the gym – again? What if I get stuck under a machine while trying to adjust the height on it? Will someone be there to rescue me this time? My heart hurts thinking about being like this for the rest of my life. I don’t want to spend my life fat and worrying about it, thinking about it, dreaming about one day not being fat anymore.

I don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life – fat and unable to do things I want do. Will I ever be at goal? I can’t even imagine what I’ll look like at goal, what it’ll feel like. How do I even know what’s a good goal weight to shoot for?

My prayer today is that I make the right choices and do the right things to achieve this.

28 Days

Let’s just say that I’m glad February was only 28 days long. It started with lots of sweat and even some tears; it ended much better. I worked out harder and tweaked some things with my eating. It was difficult because I was working hard at getting past the level of weight I seemed to be stuck at. The good news is that I lost 4 pounds and some more inches. Thank God for that!!! I’m now working on losing more weight and getting as far away from this plateau as possible.