I Believe

Do you remember the old Christmas movie Miracle on 34th Street? It’s about a man who believes he’s the real Santa Claus. A court hearing takes place to determine if he really is Santa. In the process, the expression “I Believe” starts turning up – on buttons, on signs, etc. – all around town as people rally around and show their support that they believe in Santa.

Sometimes, I have to remind myself that I can do this and that I can lose this weight. I know that I can do it – deep down inside, I really do. My family and friends believe in me and know that I can do it. It’s overwhelming when I look at the big picture. I have a goal that I’d like to reach and wonder what it’ll be like when I reach it – What will I look like? How will I feel? What will I do to celebrate reaching that goal?

This week I’m really working on believing in myself. I know that I can do this. And even though it seems overwhelming looking at the big picture, there are small goals and victories along the way to be celebrated. I do believe…

It's been a struggle

Summer 2007 (a couple of months before I started working out)

Thanksgiving 2007 (I'd been working out for a month and a half at this point)

May 23rd (with Anjuli, my new trainer Laura and Jeremy)


My 30th birthday (June 2008)

Okay, I admit – the last couple of weeks have been a struggle. It all started about 2 months ago when my trainer got a new job so I got a new trainer. As great as Laura is, my workouts with her just aren’t as hard as they were with Jeremy. One thing led to another, and I started wondering if I should get a different trainer. I noticed that when it came to working out on my own, I wasn’t working out as much; when I did, I had to really push myself to go and wasn’t working out as hard as I used to. And all of this got me to thinking…

Whoever said that this was going to be easy didn’t know what they were talking about. It’s hard! It’s hard making myself workout when I’d rather watch tv, read a book or just do nothing. It’s hard eating something healthy like fresh fruit when I’d rather have a great big ole piece of cheesecake. It takes a lot of time and planning to know what I’m going to eat each day. If I don’t plan, it’s too easy to allow myself to make a bad choice. I'm so afraid of failing and not losing weight.

As much of a struggle as it’s been, I know that it’s worth every bit of it to get to where I want to go. I don’t want to be fat anymore. I want to be thin and healthy. I want to share clothes with friends, cross my legs, and not have to worry if I’m to heavy to sit on a chair without breaking it. Being overweight is not fun and it’s certainly not healthy for me.

So I’ve made a pact with myself. I’m going to get back on the bandwagon and give it 100% again. My trainings with Laura have gotten better, my own workouts have gotten better, and I’m eating better again.

I’m thinking of the accomplishments I’ve made along the way. I’ve already lost 32.5 lbs., over 29.75 inches, and 10% BMI. I’m working out and doing things that I never thought I could do in those workouts. I feel better and I’m not achy and sore like I was before all of this. My eating habits have changed and I’m trying new things. Most of all, I’m making a better life for myself. After all, it’s just weight!